Men are from Carnival! Women are from Holland America!

| Monday, 05 Mar. 2001

The differences between women and men also apply equally in the cruise world

Before I'm attacked by members of N.O.W. for this title alone, let's be realistic, if only for a moment. I am only half chauvinist. Around our house, I do what I want, but Mrs. Kuki lets me know what it is I want to do. The fact is, men and women are not alike, and both anticipate their cruise vacations in a distinctly different manner.

Through months and months of research-avoidance, and non-collaboration with women, I've come up with a "Kuki" look at the moments of cruise anticipation for each gender.


  • Women have a constant urge to shop.
  • Men are thinking their wives should have plastic surgery to cut up their credit cards.

Sex, Food, and Sand:

  • Women are cursing about not going on a diet months ago in preparation for the trip, afraid there'll be too many bathing beauties aboard.
  • Men are praying there will be.
  • Men are trying to find out if "the game" will be shown on the ship.
  • Women are thinking, if "he" dares to watch "the game," the shops onboard are going to be VERY busy.
  • Women are researching which beaches are best for snorkelling.
  • Men are researching which beaches are topless.


  • Men are wondering how they can get out of dressing for formal nights.
  • Women are wondering how they'll get the men to look decent on formal nights.
  • Women have begun mentally packing, itemizing what to bring along.
  • Men are deciding which pair of shorts will look good after 9 wearings.


  • Women are dreaming about headline entertainment
  • Men are dreaming about their wives being entertaining.
  • Men are thinking about how many entrees and desserts they can order without looking like complete pigs.
  • Women are thinking if they only have one entree, then they can sneak in an extra dessert... and that the men look like pigs already.
  • Women can't wait to play afternoon bingo.
  • Men can't wait for afternoon bingo, so they can nap in peace.
  • Women are imagining moonlit romantic walks on deck, or cuddling on the balcony at sunset.
  • Men are wondering if they'll be awake to see a sunset.
  • Women can't sleep in anticipation of the shopping in St. Thomas.
  • Men can't sleep in fear of the shopping in St. Thomas.

If you've got "anticipatory moments" that come to mind that I may have missed, I invite you to share with them with us add your comments here.

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