This was an 11-Night Ultimate Panama Canal with an itinerary of
Miami, Labadee, Curacao, Aruba, Panama Canal, Columbia, Miami.
Day 1 -- Depart Miami We arrived at Miami airport, a gleaming
new facility, at 9:45. We had pre-arranged for Royal Caribbean's
transfer to the port. This proved to be an unnecessary ordeal of
waiting in a long line to have one overwhelmed person verify our
transfer voucher, more waiting to board a bus and more waiting to
fill the bus for what proved a 12 minute ride to the port. Sea Dawg
says just hire a taxi.
It was cloudy and in the low 60's in Miami. This was a welcome
escape from our cold winter weather, but the local dawgs were
bundled up in coats and jackets.
The line waiting was only beginning and, as we would experience,
typified too much of this cruise. Once we arrived at the port
terminal we stood in line with several hundred others for over a
half hour before we were allowed to enter the check-in area. Even
though we are Crown & Anchor members and had pre-booked online
with our printed SetSail Pass in
hand, check-in took over a half hour and went no quicker for us
than first time cruisers. Then we stood in an even longer line
waiting to be allowed to go aboard! A rumor came down the line that
there were passengers on the previous cruise still aboard who had
gone over their allotment and were still waiting to clear U.S.
Customs. This wasn't accurate because the customs inspection is in
the terminal.
Anyhow we queued up into a very long line waiting to have our
boarding Security photo created. This line was slowed even more by
photographers eager to take your "Welcome Aboard!" photo. These
photos are not free, sometimes go on sale or may be bargained down
in price before the end of the cruise, and if you do not want your
photo taken you may firmly say "No thanks" and be on your way.
During the cruise there were times photographers set up in a way
that constricted pedestrian traffic creating, I think, a hazard
should there be an emergency. On this particular departure I think
it would have been wiser to arrive at the ship terminal after
12:30. Our friends arrived at 2:00 and "breezed" through check-in.
Sea Dawg's rates this departure a growl.
After showing our passport to Royal Caribbean staff seven times
after we had landed in Miami, and almost three hours later, we were
finally aboard the Brilliance of the Seas. We found ourselves in
yet another line -- but this was for the expensive soda package so
we skirted around it. Sea Dawg packs his own sodas. We have sailed
her sister ship, Jewel of the Seas, and found the deck layout and
décor familiar. Still considered large in this age of mega
ships, Sea Dawg's experience with larger ships is bigger is not
always better.
Sea Dawg loves to cruise and figures if you are reading this
then you may be debating whether to take this cruise or not. Sea
Dawg says you should. Or you might have already booked this cruise
and now you might be wondering if you made a mistake or not. Sea
Dawg says you done good. Or you might be wanting to learn a few
helpful tips from a salty dawg. Sea Dawg will try to do just that.
Is Sea Dawg critical? You betcha, and I call it like I see it.
Criticism should not be equated with a dislike of cruises.
The wife and I respected the request to not enter our cabin
until 1:00 so we enjoyed a casual lunch in the Deck 11 Windjammer,
the buffet restaurant. Contrary to the rule, there would be times I
thought the Windjammer offerings were better than in the main
dining room. It disgusts me that some chow hounds load their plates
like they're about to get stranded on a deserted island for a month
and then only eat half of it. Nor does anyone appreciate line
crashing hyenas that snatch all the remaining choices away causing
others to wait until another tray is delivered. Try to forgive them
because maybe their mothers never taught them better. We enjoyed
the panoramic views of the Miami skyline and harbor.
Sea Dawg has learned the advantages to pack only carry-on
luggage. Packing for an 11 day cruise demands careful
consideration. I spend most of my time in a bathing suit and tee
shirt. Once we were in our cabin we unpacked and met our cabin
steward who would keep our ice bucket filled throughout the cruise.
Luggage would begin to be delivered in the hallway outside the
cabin door at 5:30, though some did not receive their luggage until
9:00. Our cabin was about 10 feet by 17 feet. This includes an
airplane efficient bathroom with a don't-drop-the-soap shower. It
takes a little choreography for two to move about at the same time
in a cabin. Watch out for the entrance door, bathroom door, and
closet door traps. There is a room safe but you should be aware
that a not-so-secret master code will open it. Sea Dawg says it's
probably wise to check really valuable items in at Guest Relations
to be kept in the ship's vault until needed. Our room had a stocked
mini-fridge but ours seemed barely cooler than our room air
conditioning. One real luxury aboard is a bathtub available in the
more expensive staterooms. Salty dawgs know the sauna bath in the
spa is free! Sea Dawg says it is a good idea to pack your own
won't-fall-through-cracks soap and specialty shampoo.
All too quickly it was time for the mandatory life boat drill.
Some muts think they can skip this unaware or unconcerned that the
life station crew is checking a roster. This only delays the drill
for domesticated dawgs. During the drill the Captain made a
difficult to hear announcement that our ship's departure would be
delayed eight hours due to "technical issues" but we would be on
time to our first port. Experienced salty dawgs understand this
usually means the ship will make up the lost time by going faster
and not using the stabilizers. Another rumor was that the ship
waited for passengers whose flights had been weather delayed. The
Casino wouldn't open until the ship was in international waters, so
a few gaming dawgs were unhappy they could keep their cash one more
day. The presence of several police cars beside our ship until
after 1 a.m. suggested our delay was due to more than waiting for
delayed arrivals or "technical issues." It may have delayed
boarding as well. Or maybe the captain misplaced the keys and had
to call a locksmith.
The majority of passengers on this cruise were gray dawgs 65
years up. I can't remember a cruise with this many using walkers
and scooters. In our fifties, my wife and I were considered
youngsters by this Geritol generation. But it would be a mistake to
prejudge because Sea Dawg found this to be a "get out there" crowd.
We were told there were only 24 pups aboard. The holiday cruises
had over 600 children aboard. During the Spring Break weeks in
March and April many frisky college canines are expected aboard.
Not to worry, we had a few incredibly rude, line crashing, seat
saving, argumentative Russian hounds aboard. So, I would conclude
late January and February are good times to cruise the
Caribbean.
We had early seating in Minstrel, the main dining room. Instead
of 6 or 6:30 it began at 5:30, a little too early for us. I think
it is important to remember this is a moderately priced cruise and
this is reflected in the meals. Pedigrees who desire a higher
quality dining experience have the option of eating in extra fee
Chops ($25) or Portofino's ($20). Sea Dawg thinks they should
exercise that option instead of belly ache on these pages. In my
experience, the meals in the main dining room aboard Royal
Caribbean keep improving in quality and presentation. The salty
dawgs at our table dined on delicious prime rib or fantastic "chef
special" Atlantic cod the first night. Big dawgs may order a second
entrée or a different entrée if they desire. Sea Dawg
thinks this is a "can't lose" proposition.
A decision dawgs usually make when booking is whether to
schedule main or second dinner seating. On this cruise there were
some advantages to later seating. During the cruise there were some
shore excursions that arrived back to the ship after main seating
was nearly finished. A smaller number of show dawgs in second
seating went to the theater while main seating chowed down. So
second dinner seating had more theater seats available. Main
seating sometimes had standing room only for the theater shows and
the crew was obliged to enforce their no seat saving policy. Second
seating had an opportunity to compare choices available in the
Windjammer to the dining room menu. There were times I thought the
Windjammer dinner buffet choices were better and their chefs would
cook fresh to order.
We attended the "Welcome Aboard" show in Pacifica Theater that
is a state of the art stage and sound auditorium. Unfortunately, I
thought the state of the audio was too loud. I have learned to
expect that most song and dance troops aboard a ship are about the
caliber of theme park entertainment. I recall mediocre American
Idol wannabees are sometimes told they might make a living singing
on a cruise ship. With that caveat I appreciate and expect
performers' energy and enthusiasm. To me the 11 member Royal
Caribbean Singers and Dancers needed a vacation. Our young cruise
director, Abe, helped pump the audience up. The refreshing comedy
of Steve Bruner made this a "sorry if you missed it" treat. Sea
Dawg's rating for this show is one bow-wow.
Sea Dawg loves the theater shows. The shows you will have an
opportunity to watch on your cruise will not be the same. Allow
that even if we saw a performance together, your opinion might not
agree with mine. Headliners will be different. This particular
cruise had booked the best lineup of celebrities than on any cruise
Sea Dawg has taken.
There are eight live music choices aboard. Those who appreciate
live music performances will have many reasons to rejoice. They
represent a variety of musical styles and, in my opinion, are all
quite good. My wife and I enjoy opportunities to dance and this is
one area we agree Royal Caribbean has greatly improved and merits
praise. At least Royal Caribbean is responding to popular interest
in ballroom dancing. We enjoyed dancing in the spacious Colony Club
but were usually obliged to dance in the tiny Centrum.
The ship pulled away from its Miami berth after 1 a.m. and once
in deep waters one could feel little bumps and rolls as Brilliance
steamed nearly full speed ahead through the waves. As the night
progressed we entered calmer waters and the motion became less
perceptible.
Day 2 -- At Sea The morning greeted us warmly. It was shorts and
tee shirts weather! I made a quick trip to the made-to-order omelet
station (try shrimp) in Windjammers. Then on went my bathing suit
and I went into the hot tub then the salt water pool of the adults
only Solarium. Goodbye winter!
A daily Cruise Compass is delivered to your cabin publishing the
onboard activities, announcements and advertisements. Dawgs have a
variety of events from which to choose on this day at sea:
exercise, spa seminar, ship tour, cooking demo, belly dancing
instruction, golf, wine tasting, movies, bingo, yoga, concert,
ballroom dance class and shopping seminar just begin a list. We
spent the day relaxing, eating, socializing and attending events
that interest us. What a dawg's life! Royal Caribbean must make a
lot of money from bingo because most of the public address
announcements are only about the latest opportunity to win the
bingo jackpot. Salty dawgs know the big cash prize bingo jackpot is
usually won on the final day. Sea Dawg was pleased to learn that he
was not the only dawg who found these interruptions annoying and
soon start to ignore them at the risk of not paying attention to a
really important announcement.
Our onboard shopping "expert" had all the show presence of my
old math teacher, Mr. Demerol. Sea Dawg says those thinking of
attending what are really infomercials disguised as shopping tips
should know participating merchants have paid an advertising fee to
Onboard Media. Inc., Miami, Florida, for promotions and warranties.
Here's a Sea Dawg tip you can really use: make your shopping list
before you leave home. That helps control impulse or hype-induced
buying. Then write down local or internet prices for items on your
shopping list plus tax BEFORE you leave home. That way you really
know when you are getting a deal or hoodwinked. For instance,
prices for duty free alcohol aboard ship are higher than Sea Dawg's
retailer back home -- including taxes. The ship store offers a
limited selection. And one more thing, should you buy a bottle of
booze aboard (or in port); the ship will keep it until the night
before you disembark at the end of the trip -- no taking your
bottle to your room. The cruise line doesn't want to impact bar
sales. On the other hand, the public relations department would
remind us that this is done in the interest of individual and
public safety. Besides, salty dawgs know to wait for the sales at
the end of the cruise. Royal Caribbean shops advertise they will
not be undersold but you will need to present a current
advertisement for the exact same item before they will match the
price.
I watched part of an art auction presentation. Unless you know
art, it's you the novice against them the expert. A helpful
resource for determining the value of art is the internet. Yikes!
The art bid does NOT include shipping, frame and (can you believe
this?) an auctioneer's fee! You are paying those sly dawgs to
auction their own property! There's nice art and sports memorabilia
to admire, but unless you require this particular remembrance of
this cruise, Sea Dawg says do some research before you buy. There
is another issue with the art auctioneers. Their staff override and
block elevators at busy times and insist the guests wait.
Speaking of internet, computers are available or you may bring
your own laptop and use Wi-Fi wireless access. There is a fee (150
minutes for $55) to access internet aboard. Unfortunately, it is
not high speed internet (and you are paying by the minute) and was
often so slow page loading timed out or was not available at all
especially on "at sea" days.
By now it should be clear that a cruise is not all-inclusive.
Cruise lines keep creating new opportunities to increase their
profits. Unfortunately, some cut out "frills" or charge for what
was once included in the fare. Sea Dawg is usually content with
enjoying the basic amenities but sees a trend leading to a time all
dawgs will be expected to chew dry bones. Some will receive a
statement of charges to their account at the end of the cruise that
is higher than their ticket price.
Brilliance is a beautiful ship. The crew can be seen constantly
cleaning and maintaining trying to keep her that way. Even so, the
daily wear and tear over the years has taken a toll. The interior
décor in the public areas is elegant. The soaring atrium is
refined modern without neon glitziness. The floor and hub of ship
activities, the Deck 4 Centrum, can be approached by descending a
glass stairway. I found the Deck 5 shops crowded and made more so
by the presence of sale tables competing with walking space. As
expected, the Casino is ablaze with glitz and neon and all the
bells and whistles to tempt a passerby to join the other winners.
Sea Dawg has learned the house odds aboard is higher than Las Vegas
or even the Reservation and money gambled here is probably better
considered the cost of entertainment. Even so, there seem to be
enough who walk away with more cash than they arrived with (and who
are not shy to herald their success in these pages) to fuel the
gaming. Compulsive gamblers beware! I was astonished to learn that
one could use their SeaPass card to receive up to $2,000 gaming
advances each day.
Brilliance has 13 bars, each with its own hours of operation.
The Schooner Bar has a tasteful nautical theme and the nearby
Colony Club an African safari theme. Check out the billiard tables
that stay level even when the ship rolls. Modern artwork is
displayed most everywhere, including the stairways, and is worth
investing a little time to stop and appreciate. There is a
children's pool with waterslide, a main pool sunning area and a
smaller glass enclosed oasis Solarium. The blaring music usually
drove Sea Dawg away from the main pool. The panoramic Hollywood
Lounge and nearby Starquest Disco perched high above ship is worth
a visit. There is a spa, a fitness center, basketball, mini golf,
and the signature rock climbing wall. I did not witness a lot of
seniors attempting the ascent. But the free exercise machines in
the fitness center stayed busy. This is not the ship with the surf
wave machine. Brilliance is scheduled for dry docking soon and will
begin to cruise the Mediterranean Sea afterwards.
Tonight's dinner is "formal attire suggested" followed by the
Captain's welcome aboard reception. I think because the majority of
passengers are seniors, I saw more than the usual numbers wearing
formals. Only a few came without at least coat and tie. Sea Dawg
packs his own tux shirt, tie and cummerbund for formal nights, but
not a complete tuxedo. This investment is less expensive than tux
rental. The popular entrées tonight were filet of beef (not
thick slice) and half roast duck. So far, Sea Dawg's dinner
entrée choices have been better than his usual chow.
We attended the Captain's welcome and were treated to a glass of
champagne. The captain introduced department heads. The hotel
director is the individual most responsible for guests should any
have an issue, not the captain. We also danced a few turns before
going to the evening show. The show, "Mastering the Magic" starring
Fallon Magic and his wife Mystia, proved amazing as advertised.
Mystia is a star in her own right and performed some breathtaking
Cirque de Soliel acrobatics. This was no amateur production! Sea
Dawg appreciates that our Cruise Director does not abuse his
captive audience like others have done. He delivers announcements
with humor and lets people go. Sea Dawg's rating is three
bow-wows.
Day 3 -- Labadee, Haiti Labadee is the cruise line's privately
owned party island, though from the ship it looks like a peninsula.
The ship anchors offshore in a stunning cove surrounded by steep
forested hills descending sharply to the blue-green sea. Guests
board a tender (transfer ferry) from the gangway on Deck 2 and are
shuttled there. It features manicured beaches and touristy for fee
water activities. The clear water helps determine where sharp coral
outcroppings are. There is an Aqua Park and a Zip Line across the
bay starting 500 feet up a hillside. I was reminded of Royal
Caribbean's TV commercials here. For shoppers there is a straw
market. Shuttle trams transfer quests that prefer not to walk from
one end to the other. Think cruise line controlled park enclave in
Haitian theme and you'll have the right idea. Also think fun and
standing on terra firma. Barbeque lunch was available ashore but we
opted to enjoy the broader selection aboard ship. The temperature
was in the mid-80, the sun was strong today and sunburn protection
was necessary. Sea Dawg packs his own lotion. We found lounges by
the surf under a shady tree and enjoyed a dawg's day in paradise a
few hours. Back home the highs were in the low 40's. There were
some activities on ship for those who did not want to go to the
beaches ashore.
Tonight would have probably been a good time to dine at
Portofino's, Chops or even Windjammer's. Tonight's popular
entrée was Penne Tarantino -- a delicious and filling
seafood pasta. Experienced salty dawgs agree that Royal Caribbean
has downsized entrée portions. This is more a compliment
than a complaint because for most this seemed to be just right, but
for a few big dawgs the portions were too small and necessitated
ordering seconds.
After dinner we danced a little in the Centrum before going to
the theater to watch the Royal Caribbean singers and dancers
production of "Now and Forever." This featured current or recent
hits from Broadway. Instead of a canned, homogenized soundtrack the
music was provided by the ship's impressive live musicians. The
singers and dancers performed better than I have come to expect
from cruise line entertainers and with contagious enthusiasm the
audience appreciated, forgiving that both the soprano and alto
songbirds had pitch problems. The costumes were exceptional and the
stage sets quite impressive. The "Wow" finale erupted into a
well-earned standing ovation and complete disbelief the production
had lasted fifty minutes and not twenty. Sea Dawg's rating is two
bow-wows.
After the show we enjoyed dancing in the Centrum. I think the
small, crowded floor witnessed to the need for the ship's
entertainment director to schedule this in a larger area for
dancers. At 11 p.m. we made our way back to the theater for the
Steve Bruner's comedy show. It was refreshing to hear truly funny
"adult" comedy with so few four-letter words. Sea Dawgs rating is
three bow-wows.
We noticed more officers out and about ship on this cruise than
we remember on other cruises. Many seemed to be there to stop and
ask whether dawgs were enjoying the cruise and listen to responses
and comments. On many cruises officers appeared at receptions or
when someone had an issue to resolve. Sea Dawg hopes this continues
and welcomed the opportunity to praise the crew.
Day 4 -- At Sea The Cruise Compass was filled with a variety of
activities today to appeal to most everyone. Added to those
mentioned above were: men's belly flop contest, diamonds seminar,
sit-to-be-fit, acupuncture for arthritis seminar, scavenger hunt,
dodge ball tourney, aromatherapy, seaweed healing secrets, and
rock-a-rokie (karaoke with a live band).
Something curious happens today. At noon (instead of after
midnight) guests set their watches ahead one hour to Atlantic
Standard Time. The result created some confusion and missed
activities. For example, lunch service began at noon. But at noon
it became 1pm, time for some activities to begin. Most realize this
better served the crew (by shortening their work day) at the
inconvenience of the guests. Sea Dawg found this was one of
Brilliance's less brilliant ideas.
Dinner did seem to arrive early. Tonight's popular entrees were
Thai shrimp (4 super jumbo size) and steak. All at our table who
ordered steak agreed it was a little tough.
The headline show featured violin virtuoso Maria Neglia. Any who
prejudged this would be a show to skip would have made a mistake.
Maria's virtuosity, showmanship, audience appealing selections and
humor made this the best theater presentation yet! Maria received
not only a standing ovation but accepted calls to play an encore.
Her encore, in her words, "went for the gold" and displayed an even
higher level of virtuosity. Her show had so much "Wow" factor that
the audience began a standing ovation even before she had finished.
Sea Dawg's rating is a howl (highest rating).
After the theater presentation we danced about an hour in the
Centrum. Its tiny floor space could not handle all the couples who
wanted to dance so some were dancing in the hallways and
balconies.
Day 5 -- Willenstad, Curacao (Cu-ra-SOW) Curacao is the largest
island of the Netherlands Antilles. This is the first real port
visited on this cruise. Dutch influence and architecture is evident
in the old town shopping district, called Punda, in Willenstad.
This is about a fifteen minute walk from the ship. If open, cross
over St. Anna Bay on the pontoon Emma Bridge or use the free ferry.
If you would rather avoid walking, take a trolley tour. There is
considerable old world charm to be found in Punda's narrow streets
and century's old buildings. I noticed what I considered good
prices for fine linen and Delft china. And, as in most every port,
beer and drinks were less expensive than aboard ship. I think one
may find better prices outside the tourist district as there seems
to be more cooperation than competition among merchants here.
No information has been made available regarding U.S. Customs
limitations. I think the cruise line wants to do nothing to
discourage spending in the recommended shops that have paid for
promotion. Already, some new dawgs received a shock that their
booze was taken from them when they boarded. It will be given to
them near the end of the cruise. Imagine their shock when they pay
tax for going over U.S. Customs limits. Sea Dawg says learn about
U.S. Customs limitations on the internet before starting a
cruise.
An interesting exchange was overheard in the line to board the
ship. As his booze was being confiscated the owner protested he was
an American and he had rights. The reply was he wasn't in America
now. It is worth reminding that when in port the laws of the
visited country apply, when at sea International Maritime Law
applies as well as the laws of the Bahamas, where the ship is
registered. Not only that, but a careful reading of the ticket
discloses many rights and privileges passengers surrender during a
cruise. Understanding these should help avoid confusion and
misunderstanding. And one more thing, the ship has security aboard
but dawgs should know these police dawgs are there more to protect
ship property, crew and interests than guests or their
property.
Our next island destination is a mere 77 nautical miles away but
Brilliance will take all night to float there. The ship will depart
port at 4:30 to avoid port charges (fees that would be passed on to
consumers) instead of staying in Curacao longer or experiencing
Willemstad's nightlife. Brilliance followed the published schedule,
but the reason for departing early is to avoid paying port charges
as the cruise line makes sincere efforts to maximize profits at
every opportunity.
We attended a Crown & Anchor loyalty reception and were
treated to free drinks and heavy hors d'oeuvres. We heard the
latest on new ships being built and new cruise routes planned. We
also learned that there would be no chocolate buffet on this or
future cruises. It's a dismaying trend Sea Dawg believes will
continue: frills that once enhanced a cruise will cease in order to
keep costs down. Consider for a moment what has already happened to
the airline industry. After a toast to Royal Caribbean we were able
to dance a few turns before going to dinner.
Tonight's popular entrees were lamb and pork chop. Tablemates
agreed this would have been a good night to go to dine at one of
the surcharge restaurants or even the Windjammer.
Tonight's theater show featured Jonathan Kane, an Elton John
impersonator. He performed some of Sir Elton's biggest hits and at
times impersonated the star remarkably well. He was backed by both
the live Royal Caribbean musicians and a vocal soundtrack. But
their volume was kept too soft and they were barely audible. So
what we heard were piano pounding more in the style of Ray Stevens
than Elton John and an ear splitting lead vocal that made even
mellow rock ballads painful listening. However, sound imbalance
issues did not prevent the show from managing a powerful ending, I
think mostly due to the popularity of the selections, so that about
two-thirds of the audience offered a standing ovation. Sea Dawg's
rating is one bow-wow.
The theater show set the theme for the rest of the evening: the
70's. Sea Dawg heard groans from the mostly senior passengers when
it was announced that all the dance venues would be disco tonight.
Sea Dawg considers this another one of Brilliance's less brilliant
ideas. In this case stubbornly sticking to an established cruise
script instead of modifying it to suit the tastes of all the gray
dawgs aboard.
Not having packed polyester or danced disco in 30 years, we
spent a lovely evening walking about the Deck 5 promenade before
retiring.
Day 6 -- Oranjestad, Aruba The cruise is now half over and we
wake to find ourselves docked in Aruba. Again, Dutch influence is
evident but competes with neon and modern architecture. Aruba has
world famous beaches and pristine waters ideal for snorkeling or
scuba diving. The nightlife is exciting here and a Carnivale
procession is scheduled to snake the downtown streets tonight but
Brilliance will depart before it begins depriving dawgs in order to
avoid port charges.
I guess most are still mindful that there has been no justice
for Natalee Holloway. It mocks its self proclamation as "the happy
isle." In quiet response, my wife chose to boycott shopping on
Aruba.
We booked an excursion here on the sailboat Mi Duschi, a two
masted ketch. The name means "my lovely one." As advertised, we
experienced six hours aboard with three snorkeling stops, lunch,
rope swinging and sailing. What isn't advertised is the three
person crew announces the ship is ours and has as much fun as the
14 guests. My wife and I found a comfortable place in the netting
"hammock" under the bowsprit. We were taken to snorkeled the sunken
freighter Atilla and saw many beautiful fish. Then we went to two
shallow snorkel sites and saw coral formations and colorful
tropical fish. I demonstrated my best Tarzan impersonation on the
rope swing off the starboard side. After the third snorkel the
unlimited bar opened. I had a thrill of a lifetime fulfilling a
personal dream by taking the helm under sail for much of the trip
back to the marina. There seemed to be other vessels making the
same tour, but Mi Duschi seemed the only boat actually using wind
power. And the other vessels appeared much more crowded. Another
couple at our table booked the same tour with another boat and
after comparison wished they had been with us. If sailing and
snorkeling seem an excursion you'd be interested in, I heartily
recommend going on Mi Duschi. To quote the captain, they need the
bookings or else they'll have to get real jobs. Sea Dawg's rating
is a howl.
Tonight's popular dinner entrées were sea bass or scallop
linguini. Sea Dawg could have made the shrimp cocktail appetizer
his main course. The sea bass had some fish bones. The tiny
scallops in the linguini were about the size of a marble. Kahlua
crème broulee was the popular dessert choice.
Tonight's show in the theater was the "Love and Marriage Game
Show" which is similar to the "Newlywed Show" in format except only
one couple is newlywed. One couple chosen has been married the most
years (ours for 66 years) and one couple in between. Salty dawgs
have seen this on our other cruises, but this proved one of the
funniest. Even our cruise director broke up. The participants make
or break the show and no two shows are ever the same.
A poolside buffet and dancing followed the show. Though I went
promptly from theater to poolside, the buffet had already started.
The very long queue wrapped around and outside the pool area. I
can't believe how much I am eating! I took a look at the offerings,
mostly heavy hors d'oeuvres, and decided I really could do without
the calories.
Day 7 -- At Sea Once again the warm, bright sun greets this
January 27th day. Gone are thoughts or reminders of winter. So far,
the weather throughout the cruise has been great with only two
brief showers. Tonight at 2 a.m. we set the clocks back one hour to
Eastern Time. Remember we set clocks ahead an hour at noon last
time? I think most realize adding an hour during the day would
increase the crew workday by an hour.
Today's Cruise Compass is filled with activities. Flyers
advertise an "Amber Event" and an art auction. Half off sales on
selected shop items are making their appearance. Today's schedule
includes puffy eyes seminar, detox for weight loss presentation,
acupuncture, men's sexy legs contest, benefits of hypnosis session,
Tai Chi, bridge tournament and walk a mile challenge. I've made up
my own "sit to be fit" session in the peaceful retreat of the
Solarium. In the afternoon I participated in activities of
interest.
Tonight's popular dinner entrée was an excellent Cog au
Vin. After dinner we went to the theater for the Royal Caribbean
Singers and Dancers production "Big Time Swing." Though expected to
be very popular with the many senior guests, this show did not live
up to all it promised. Too often, the dancers seemed to be
repeating movements. At the times they were supposed to be dancing
together they weren't. And I thought they were the best part of
this show. The song selections scattered several popular hits among
too many obscure songs. The lady songbirds had serious style
problems singing swing in a Broadway musical style. I think they
would improve if they listened more to the original hits. One
songbird might sing better after she has given birth to her baby.
Four-part arrangements of swing ballads would have been at home in
a conservative church. I think the real problem with this
production was the writing by a hack arranger who put his jazz
stamp on all the music instead of sticking to the original scores
of the hits. As talented as the orchestra members are, they were
reading a musical arrangement that tried and failed to improve the
original. My overall impression of the show is that this is a
parody of Big Time Swing. In the ultimate irony, the finale tune
"It Don't Mean a Thing if it Ain't Got That Swing" was stiff jazz
but not swing. As I was leaving the theater one senior summed it up
pretty well when I overheard him saying, "Today's kids can't play
swing anymore." If you don't care for swing music you would avoid
this show anyway. So my opinion is for swing music lovers: avoid
this show. Sea Dawg's rating is a yawn.
After the show we went to the Colony Club for the Big Swing
Dance. The same orchestra that had performed on stage now played
the music for the dance. They were playing music scores more or
less true to the original swing hits and what a difference! This is
the swing music the theater audience came to hear. They played the
big hits the theater audience should have heard. All too quickly
the midnight hour struck and the dancing was over. My wife and I
agree this is the most dancing opportunities we have ever been
given on a cruise.
Day 8 -- The Panama Canal Sea Dawg thinks a little clarification
would be helpful. Though billed as the "Ultimate Panama Canal
Cruise" this cruise does NOT transit the complete Panama Canal from
Atlantic to Pacific. It enters from the Atlantic, goes through the
first set of locks, enters Gatun Lake, turns around, goes back
through the same set of locks and enters the Atlantic again. This
is not the cruise to book if you want a cruise that transits the
complete Panama Canal from one ocean to the other. We booked this
cruise understanding we would not transit the complete Panama
Canal. But we met some grumpy dawgs who did not understand this or
somehow thought we went to Costa Rica (like a similar cruise used
to do.) We were later told the Panama Canal toll Royal Caribbean
paid was $250,000.
We were scheduled to go through the locks at 6:15 a.m. so we got
up at 5:15 a.m. and settled on an observation spot on Deck 11
forward overlooking the bow. We watched the pilot boat drop off the
Panama Canal crew. The captain turns control of the ship to the
Panama Canal pilot and his crew handles all the lines and
communication with cog railway locomotive "mules" that pull/push
the ship through the locks. We watched the ship approach the dark
coast and align the red channel lights starboard and green channel
lights port as we drifted toward our locks. We arrived as the sun
rose. An informative narration explained the procedure we were
watching and how the locks operate. There are two sets of locks
each with three 1,000 foot long chambers (just long enough for
Brilliance to enter). There is less than two feet clearance between
the hull of the ship and the concrete walls of the locks. More
amazing is that the flying bridge and other areas protruding over
the hull are designed to barely clear rooftops of buildings along
the canal. The designers of Brilliance definitely considered the
limitations and restrictions of traversing the Panama Canal.
Once in Gatun Lake dawgs who had booked a shore excursion were
tendered ashore. We wanted to experience the canal trip again so
stayed aboard. We watched going back through the locks from several
vantage points and recommend Deck 11 aft for up close views of the
gates, Deck 5 starboard (right) for up close views of the canal
walls and "mules" and Deck 5, the bow. The crew set up a bar there
and it's one of those opportunities guests are permitted to go to
the bow. Guests were treated to a poolside BBQ lunch as the ship
went through the locks.
The ship docked at Cristobal Pier at Colon, Panama. There is a
large warehouse with shops and craft stalls inside. Inexpensive
souvenirs crowd flea market stalls. The price comes down as the
time to depart nears and it pays to make an offer less than the
first quoted prices. High quality crafts are expensive here and
cheaper in Colon. Taxi fares are not metered and agreeing on a
price can be an issue, especially on your return trip. The accepted
advice is don't try it.
The popular dinner entrées tonight were roast beef with
mashed potatoes and Asian noodles with shrimp. Sea Dawg regrets to
report that he has eaten tastier roast beef in the Windjammer. The
Asian noodles bore remarkable resemblance to the Thai shrimp
entrée available on Day 4.
The headliner in Pacifica Theater was Billy Fellows, a comic
composer. He has enjoyed a fifty-five year career in show business.
He proved a chronic big name dropper and most of his act seemed to
be out of date. The songs he wrote about growing old really
appealed to the mostly senior audience. His big finish was a crowd
pleasing, flag waving patriotic tribute. Sea Dawg's rating is one
bow-wow.
Since many guests had gotten up early to watch the transit
through the locks, there was a limited schedule of evening events.
A deafening assault on my ears in the Starquest Disco or listening
to a murder of music in the Colony Club Karaoke Superstars had
little appeal to me. As has been the case throughout much of our
times at sea, and I guess should be expected in the Caribbean this
time of year, it was too windy to attempt an evening stroll on the
promenade Deck 5.
Day 9 -- Cartagena, Columbia I have to admit, if this cruise
wasn't stopping here, I would not go out of my way to come to
Cartagena, Columbia. Sea Dawg would have preferred a stop at
Jamaica or one of the Virgin Islands instead. The ship was
scheduled to arrive at 11:30 and depart at 5:30.
I spent a relaxing morning in the Solarium. The glass roof is
kept closed while the ship is at sea and there is only a little
ventilation so by late morning it gets too warm for me to stay. Sea
Dawg thinks the ventilation would improve if the access doors were
locked open.
At about 10:30 the ship began entering the channel. The
Columbian coastline and the modern high rise skyline of Cartagena
in the distance were surprisingly attractive. The private harbor
was filled with everything from little rowboats to sleek yachts.
The busy container ship port attested to the city's prosperity. We
docked and people with shore excursions departed. The Old Town
maintains Spanish buildings along narrow cobblestone streets. The
walls of the old town, churches and Spanish fortifications,
including the impressive hilltop Castillo, appear to be a leap back
into Old World history.
The ship distributes flyers about ports of call and we decided
to walk to the Old Town from the ship. I do not recommend doing
this. First, it is a longer walk than we were led to believe.
Second, once outside the port compound we had to run a vicious
gauntlet of independent taxi solicitations and jackals hawking
wares until "No" became an unceasing mantra. I have learned not to
put valuables in my back pockets and realize this mobbing could
have been an ideal opportunity for pick-pocketing. Third, some
sidewalks are so broken and hazardous they should display a
"danger" sign (to say nothing that every once in a while I saw a
mad dawg drive his car on it). Fourth, it goes through a high crime
area and smart dawgs should be in the safety of a pack. Fifth, even
our internet maps proved insufficient and unreliable. Take a lesson
from our mistake and book an excursion or just hire an approved
taxi available inside the port compound.
The reward for Sea Dawg's stupidity was an unhurried and close
inspection of Old Town architecture, shops, harbor, mansions,
churches and fortifications. The sight of wrought iron security
bars over doors and windows made us uneasy. The temperature was in
the low 90's and we welcomed the rare breeze. We must have looked
exhausted because we could barely walk a block without getting a
taxi solicitation. We saw all the sights we planned and made the
trek back to the ship and arrived dawg tired before 5 p.m. A dip in
the cool pool has rarely felt so good.
Tonight's dinner was billed as Italian, but the menu really
wasn't. The popular entrees were lamb shanks and tiger shrimp. I
tried the chicken marsala and received two fried chicken patties
topped with mushrooms. No lasagna, cannelloni or even spaghetti was
available. The tiger shrimp was excellent but the lamb shanks were
too greasy. The waiters gathered on the stairs and sang an
exuberant O Soli Mio. Aha! That is what is meant when this meal is
Italian night! The waiters came from 37 countries and not one from
Italy. And apparently none of the chefs came from Italy either!
The theater presentation featured "Tango Beunos Aires." We had
seen a production of this starring the Argentine tango champions
aboard the Jewel and welcomed the opportunity to compare. Tonight's
tango stars were not champions but were about as amazing. The Tango
Buenos Aires musicians each displayed their impressive virtuosity
but every now and then a soundtrack went a little out of synch with
the live musicians. I don't think the soundtrack was necessary. The
Royal Caribbean dancers complimented the stars in their supportive
roles. Once again our lady songbirds had pitch problems and
supplanted Argentine style with campy vaudeville style. I would
argue the songbirds learn the Hippocratic Oath, "First, do no harm"
because their performances were not up to the standards of the
other performers in this production. One example, the overly
melodramatic, out of tune four part harmony rendered in "Don't Cry
for Me Argentina" brought tears to my eyes, elicited groans from
some in the audience, and would probably make any South American
cry. Thankfully some energetic pampas footwork followed and stomped
out memories of tortured singing. In a "save the best for last,"
our tango stars performed a quick, intricate routine featuring "no
room for error" kicks that brought a "Wowed" audience to their
feet. Sea Dawg's rating is three bow-wows.
Day 10 -- At Sea Today's Cruise Compass activities include all
the usual ones already mentioned plus Aquadynamics, Ping Pong
Tourney, Acupuncture Facial (ouch), Backstage Tour, Tux rentals,
Beauty salon specials and photo portrait sessions to prepare for
the formal dinner tonight. On board shops were having sales and
those who bought earlier in the cruise now wish they had waited.
Even Bingo cards are on sale.
Sea Dawg accepted the invitation to the Royal Caribbean Loyalty
Brunch. After we had been softened by the buffet the cruise line
drop a bombshell explaining changes in the cruise point earning
policy that are not as generous as before. It's time for salty
dawgs to learn new tricks. Sea Dawg cautions cruise lines to study
what happened to airlines. As airlines eliminated perks their loyal
patrons began to disappear. Maybe salty dawgs should band together
and have an opportunity to teach cruise lines new tricks.
We participated in activities that sounded interesting and had
made to order pizza and pasta in the Seaview, Deck 12. It was windy
and the seas choppy today. This class of ship, with shallow draft
and high above water profile tends to roll and sway. Today it was
just enough to challenge walking in a straight line.
Tonight's popular dinner entrée was lobster tail. The
menu called it "seafood combination" but waiters made certain loyal
main dining chow hounds knew it was lobster tail with shrimp. It
was formal night and it appeared more salty dawgs got the memo to
dress up. I think most who did not want to dress up or didn't know
it was lobster tail night ate in Windjammers. Sea Dawg says just
clip on a tie and eat lobster.
Tonight's theater celebrity headliner was Yakov Smirnoff, the
Russian comic famous for the line, "What a country." His show is a
current and hilarious look at life in the U.S. His side splitting
show ended much too quickly. Sea Dawg's rating is a howl.
There was dancing and a jazz cabaret after the theater show. We
found there was too much ship movement to safely dance and opted to
retire. A towel monkey dangling from the cabin ceiling greeted our
arrival.
Day 11 -- At Sea Hard to believe the last day has arrived. Soon
the cold reality of going home will be upon us. Time to make the
most of today and Sea Dawg likes to start in the Solarium.
After breakfast a flurry of announcements for Bingo, special
sales in shops, drink specials, today's activities and customs
information begin. Hallways are constricted with bargain hunting
dawgs sniffing out sales tables. The Captain makes his announcement
from the bridge -- interesting we're told the latitude, longitude,
depth (in meters and feet) and water and air temperature, wind
speed and direction and how far we have traveled since we began the
cruise and, finally, where we are (at this hour off the north coast
of Cuba). The U.S. Customs and Border Protection Form arrived along
with more information -- interesting what Uncle Sam requires to
know.
Again there were many different activities aboard and Sea Dawg
spent the day participating in those he liked best. Tomorrow will
be back to reality.
It is time to settle our account. For many dawgs, this is the
shocking time when they discover that their bar tab, shopping tab,
and casino tab can double the cost of their cruise. Experience has
taught Sea Dawg to settle accounts early because it is easier to
settle billing discrepancies now than during tomorrow's rush to
leave the ship. Each guest will receive a statement in their cabin
later. Our account was both pleasantly detailed and accurate.
Tonight's popular dinner entrées were mahi mahi or
turkey. It was farewell to the table waiters and time to tip. The
waiter's livelihood depends on the tips received. The waiter
doesn't decide the menu or prepare the food. Tipping is based on
the quality of table service alone. Sea Dawg has a few tips he
would like to give the chefs and will provide it on the cruise
evaluation form to be completed tonight.
The "farewell" theater production starred comedian Michael
James. His show was laced with impressive acrobatics and great
humor. Sea Dawg's rating is three bow-wows. The captain and
representatives of the entire crew came onstage to receive the
appreciative ovation from the audience.
The Tango Buenos Aires stars gave a brief performance in the
Centrum. Then we took the opportunity to dance. Soon it was back to
the cabin to pack our bags and prepare to end this wonderful
cruise.
Day 12 -- Disembarkation Brilliance arrived and docked before
daybreak. At 6 a.m. we went to Windjammers for breakfast. After
breakfast we returned to our cabin and packed the last items into
our suitcase. At 6:30 an announcement called for express departure
was made. Here's another advantage of carry on luggage. We showed
our SeaPass card and were promptly off the ship with all our
belongings. We stood in a short line to be cleared by U.S. Customs
and within a few minutes walked out of the terminal building and
onto our shuttle waiting to take us to the airport. Dawgs who let
the cruise line handle their luggage will wait for their suitcases
to arrive in the baggage carousel. For information and planning it
took us over an hour to clear security in Miami Airport and we were
ahead of the rush. If you book air travel, you might do better to
compare ticket prices with arrival and departure at Fort Lauderdale
airport. It is only 17 miles from the ship terminal and shuttles
are available at the ship terminal to take dawgs there.
Bottom Line Sea Dawg hasn't been and doesn't expect to be on a
perfect cruise. But this cruise had the fewest issues or glitches
of any cruise experienced so far. I believe Royal Caribbean is
making sincere efforts to improve every dawg's cruise experience
and there were signs of it on this cruise. Each cruise is different
and each dawg will have a unique and personal experience. A cruise
is not for everyone and an eleven day cruise could be too long for
new dawgs.
A pedigree dawg looking for a cruise experience offering glitz
and glittery atriums and promenades, five star dining, large
cabins, Vegas quality entertainment, vast high end onboard shops,
more ports and longer stays in ports, may not be satisfied with
this cruise. I'm convinced that if a dawg keeps expectations
realistic, then this promises to be among a dawg's greatest cruise
experiences. At the very least, this cruise is an escape from
winter's weather and into the warmer and usually sunny Caribbean.
That's reason enough for me!