Here I sit in front of computer and have decided to share my secrets of how I prepare for my next cruise...here goes>>
1. i practice stopping in place for no reason at all...any buffet restaurant will do for this exercise!
2. i push my tray of food into the L5-L6 veterbrae of the person in
front of me in line to hasten their food choices...then i do the al's
hymer mental drift out when confronted...it helps if you are female forBig Smile
3. i practice saying,...i got a great deal on this cruise, how much did
you pay...and no matter what they say, i will answer,...yeah, that's
great but i paid (i.e. any amount $300 or more less than they
paid)....if they beat your price then tell them you are a travel agent
and are paying $45 per day!...or if they persist, tell them you are on
a free cruise because you sued the cruise line because they did not
change your sheets during your last cruise!...this one really ticks off
new yorkers or floridians!
4. practice filling water bottles with vodka, white rum, and gin
5. Walk into a store and put your hand to your forehead. Say, "Oh, this
room is rocking. I just got off of a cruise ship!" Do this in at least
6. Stand in your regular sized shower and shower by standing in one place. Ladies, shave your legs to do this.
7. Start eating a lot of food.
8. Take a taxi ride. Tell the driver "the best beach, please!"
9. Stand out on your roof or deck and lean way out and look down... You may want to point and yell 'LOOK, LOOK A WHALE!"
10. Sit with some people you don't know in a restaurant next time you
go out to dinner. When they look at you like you are crazy, tell them
you are practicing to meet your new tablemates on your next cruise!
11. practice saying how much you hate this cruise line and you should
know because you've been on 30 of their cruises. Actually had a guy
making that complaint to me on a cruise.
12. Every time you flush your toilet, simultaneously turn on your vacuum cleaner
13. go to the nearest building...get into crowded elevator. Then, when
it is full, practice pushing your way on, while insisting that there's
lots of room. (Be sure to stay by the doors, so that those who got on
first and want to get off first, have to ask your permission.
14.I never leave the house without my duct tape, over the door shoe organizer, surge protector, lysol wipes, and nightlight.
15. Wake up at 5AM every morning and creep around the neighborhood, placing towels on your neighbors patio chairs to reserve them for the day.
16. Wait for your mailman to deliver your mail, then order the drink of the day. If he looks at you funny, give him your S&S number and tell
him to be on time tomorrow.
17. Roll up $20 bills and light them on fire in preparation for your casino losses.
18. If your dh does something especially nice for you, issue him Onboard Credit.