Norwegian Cruise Line Reviews

Year Started: 1966
Ships in Fleet: 13
Category: Mainstream

Summary: With the recent introduction of new ships the third biggest cruise company in the world. Free-style cruising, elaborate dining options and surprisingly good entertainment.

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Norwegian Cruise Ships

2 Reviews

Regions:Bahamas, Bermuda, Caribbean, Mediterranean Western

Good for: Teens. Seniors. Group.

77 Reviews

Regions:Eastern Seaboard, Caribbean, Bermuda

Good for: Value for Money. Children`s Programs. Singles.

4 Reviews

Regions:Caribbean, Mediterranean Western, Transatlantic

12 Reviews

Regions:Bahamas, Caribbean, Eastern Seaboard

Good for: Teens. Children`s Programs. Families.

25 Reviews

Regions:Mediterranean Western

45 Reviews

Regions:Alaska, Bahamas, Caribbean

Good for: Teens. Children`s Programs. Families.

25 Reviews

Regions:Alaska, Bahamas, Caribbean

Good for: Teens. First-time Cruisers. Families.

98 Reviews

Regions:Bahamas

Good for: Group. Singles. Families.

40 Reviews

Regions:Mediterranean Western

Good for: Teens. Seniors. Families.

62 Reviews

Regions:Caribbean, Inland Waterways, Mediterranean Western, Mexico

72 Reviews

Regions:Alaska, Caribbean, Inland Waterways, West Coast

Good for: Families. Value for Money. Teens.

55 Reviews

Good for: Value for Money. Overall Service. Disabled Travelers.

User Ratings

Overall Rating
4.03
from 518 reviews

Cuisine

Service Level

Value for Money

Ship Décor

Public Rooms

Staterooms

Kid's Programs

Daytime Activities

Nightlife

Shore Tours

Itinerary

Alternative Dining

User Reviews

518 User Reviews of Norwegian Ships
Alaska
Publication Date: May 15, 2010

Norwegian Cruise Line Norwegian Star by elaine dickson Alaska May 15, 2010

What a mess of a ship design. In creating 14 new restaurants ( at a cost) virtually all of the public spaces have been taken away and there is not one place to sit with a drink and look out the window a6t the gorgeous Alaska Scenery. To make matters worse, they have leased out the top deck round observation lounge to a spa and only there will you have access to those panoramic windows where passengers used to pass the day. In order to do this it costs $150 per couple and there are only 12 lounges and several chairs. It is sheer idiocy.

At the back of the ship where other ships have a place for lounges and tables & chairs to look aft with the shelter of the ship behind you, this ship has built a children's playground which was virtually empty every time I passed by. The Norweigan Star is ill equiped to do Alaska and I would sail ANY other ship before this one.

On the plus side, their dining room is particularly beautiful, the food

decent, the entertainment okay.
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Southern Caribbean
Publication Date: April 11, 2010

Our room steward service was excellent. However we thought the food a little bland. We took an inside cabin which we will NOT do again. The entertainment was superb. But we found the Port & Shopping Consultant, did not live up to all the things he said. We were disappointed with the raffle system which sometimes never took place. But all in all,the cruise was definitely worth it for the price.

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Western Caribbean
Publication Date: April 4, 2010

We recently arrived from a week vacation aboard the NCL Spirit. We had a wonderful time. We were a group of 10. My wife and I with 3 teenagers (14, 14 & 15), my adult sister and another family with 2 adults and two kids ages 6 and 8. There was enough to do for everybody. My kids loved the teen club, my friends loved the excursions they booked through the cruise and my wife and I loved the fine dining, ship activities, the shows and the port of call we went to.

I would mention Santo Tomas de Castilla in Guatemala as my favorite place. I booked a tour at the pier, with the local people to see the town of Livingstone and the Rio Dulce. It was a great trip. The Guatemalans are very nice & humble people with deep Mayans roots. We went to a school founded and run by volunteers out there in the middle of nowhere that was an eye opening experience. The Port of New Orleans is very easy to maneuver and the Mississippi River was great to navigate.

Overall the NCL Spirit experience was

a positive one. The only minor thing I didn't like was pushy selling they have most of the time.
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Western Caribbean
Publication Date: April 4, 2010

We had a few hiccups but nothing that kepted us from having a great time. The booking procces was good. The only problem that we had was when we put some money on our OBC, they tried to take out double the amount. It took 15 days to get that straight and then it took 2 days onbaord to get our account straighten out again.

This was our first cruise with Norwegian having cruise with Carnival twice. And our first 7 day cruise.

Embarkation: Embarkation went well. Not to many problems. It was a little warm inside but luckily by the time we we checked in they were allowing people to board. And of course like most people we headed over to the buffet. Which brings us to the next subject.

Food: The food was great. Ate in all of the free restaurants and we like the food. The buffet lines were somewhat long most of the times, but that was to be expected. As for the specialty restaurants. We ate at the Le Bistro.(Came with the romance package we bought) We also ate at Cagney's and Teppanyaki. Now the

food was great at each of the restaurants. And the service was great as well. But I would have to say that the service we received at the Le Bistro was by far the best out of any of the restaurants that i have eaten anywhere. And I have been some of everywhere. Our waitress and Jr. waitress was Elizabeth and Anna. And they were great. Always made sure that everything was great with our meal.

The cabins: We had 2 inside cabins. 5539 & 5541. They were slightly smaller that on the Carnival Fantasy but the were nice. No complaints there. Our cabin stewards were Manuel &

Ship: The ship was nice and clean. Took a few days to learn the layout of the ship. I liked the fact that you can go to deck 11 forward and look into the bridge. I also like that they put hand sanitizers everywhere. A helpful reminder to keep those hands clean.

Entertainment: We only went to 3 shows. The Welcome Aboard Show, Cirque Bijou and the International Crew Show. All 3 were great. Make sure that you see the Crew Show. They have some very talented people on board and the Fountains show is great.

Excursions: Initially we booked excursions at all of the port but we had to canceled due to me having to have foot surgery. But we booked some onboard. Even with my foot in a boot. We still had fun We eventually did a excurison in all of the ports. And had a lot of fun. I love that fact that they have several kisok that you can use to book excursions.

All in all. We had a great cruise. Were there some problems. Yes. But guest services took care of them. You will allways have problems on any vacations. But why dwell on them when you can be having fun instead. The Norwegian Jewel is a great ship with a great crew. You do have to pay extra to dine in the specialty resturants but it is worth it. My advice is go on a cruise, any cruise. And just have fun.

On another note. If you are driving to Miami. We drove from Louisiana. And this is the first time. Make sure you have cash on had for tolls. We paid around $21 going and $13 coming back going through tool booths. Also when you get to the port. Check the signs for which ship is at which terminal. The Jewel is at terminal B which is the last one and you should be parking in lot C. We had to pay $140 for parking.

Roatan: This was our first port. Initially we booked a beach deal here but due to my foot we decided to do the Best of Roatan instead. That was a great tour. We learned a lot about Roatan and the boat ride was great. We walked around before we took our tour. Met a local name Gabriel who walked with us for a while and told us about himself and life there.This is not a tourist port but it was still a nice place to visit.

Belize: Our second port was Belize City. We did the Altun Ha tour which was great a well. This was our second time going to a Mayan Ruin. Our first was Chichen Itza. This time we were allowed to climb the structures. Be prepared to stretch a little while climbing though. Those stairs are somewhat hard to climb. Our tour guide was great. He kept us laughing throughout the tour. Would love to go back again.

Coasta Maya: This was our 3rd port. They are still trying to rebuild there. We did the Jungle Beach Break. Which was ok. All of the drinks were free which is always good. The food you had to pay for. We had s nice time here. the wife finally had a chance to go to a beach.

Great Stirrup Cay: Our last port was Great Stirrup Cay. Which is NCL's private Isle. Not to much to say about here. Just after we got there it started raining. Didn't last to long but long enought though. We got off of the ship just long enough to take some pictures and to buy some items. To us it was just another beach break. But we did get to relax some though.

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Western Caribbean
Publication Date: April 4, 2010

We recently arrived from a week vacation aboard the NCL Spirit. We had a wonderful time. We were a group of 10. My wife and I with 3 teenagers (14, 14 & 15), my adult sister and another family with 2 adults and two kids ages 6 and 8. There was enough to do for everybody. My kids loved the teen club, my friends loved the excursions they booked through the cruise and my wife and I loved the fine dining, ship activities, the shows and the port of call we went to.

I would mention Santo Tomas de Castilla in Guatemala as my favorite place. I booked a tour at the pier, with the local people to see the town of Livingstone and the Rio Dulce. It was a great trip. The Guatemalans are very nice & humble people with deep Mayans roots. We went to a school founded and run by volunteers out there in the middle of nowhere that was an eye opening experience.

The Port of New Orleans is very easy to maneuver and the Mississippi River was great to navigate. Overall the NCL Spirit experience was a

positive one. The only minor thing I didn't like was pushy selling they have most of the time.
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Hawaii
Publication Date: March 27, 2010

Pride of America nothing for NCL to be proud about.

We were warned to look at the PofA as only a hotel to sleep and eat. Good advice. The staff was not rude but they were uncaring and more interested in their own party as a crew then in passengers. There were a few exceptions (Rashid in the Skyline restaurant!) but overall no commitment to quality or customer satisfaction that we've had on other trips. Itinerary at end. Other suggestions:

Onboard food. Eat dinners in the specialty restaurants. $10-$25 per person but worth it, especially for the filet mignon in the Jefferson bistro. The free Aloha Café buffet is average (think MCL), chaotic and one of your group will have to stay at the table to keep it from being taken. But we never had a long wait for a table at Aloha. My youngest liked the free Cadillac Diner for milkshakes (great). The free Skyline was ok when we wanted peace but food was poor. The free Liberty serves the same menu as the Skyline but is dressy. The extra cost Teppanyaki Japanese steakhouse was fun and great food.

Excursions. Organize

your own to save over 50%. NCL would have charged $4,200+ for all the shore excursions the 5 of us wanted. We did them on our own for $1,800 even with rental car and parking expenses. Plus we had freedom to leave the ship when we wanted and go where we wanted - missing a lot of the lines. Rental car shuttles (we used Avis) were convenient, picking us up right at the dock. (Note: I can see where you might want to do excursions through NCL if you don't have time to plan or only have 1 or 2 people.)

Parking. On Maui and Kauai there is limited overnight parking. But we found a space on the road to the ship in Maui with no problem - just had to leave it by 8:00 am the next morning which fit our schedule. On Kauai quickly go to the market you see when you leave the dock area right away and buy an overnight space for $20 from Kauai Scooter. If you get in a jam Avis will let you park overnight at their facility but shuttle times are limited at night.

Rooms. Make sure you know the EXACT layout of the room/balcony you are getting, especially if you are on the deck 10. We paid the highest price to get 2 rooms with "full balcony views", but got rooms with "partially obstructed views" (balcony walls on deck 10 extend out beyond the balcony on both sides to meet the wider deck 11). When we asked about it we got multiple excuses like blaming it on the booking, etc. We had to take our own time to call the original cruise coordinator to prove them false. Eventually PofA literally told us there was nothing they would do, including any onboard credit which is the norm. They even gave us bogus numbers to call at NCL. When we did get through to NCL they told us the ship desk would have to take care of it. A complete runaround while we stared at nothing but shipping containers in every port. A several thousand dollar mistake - but they didn't care. Our AVC cruise coordinator was fantastic and said she would follow-up with NCL but I have low expectations and will most likely not use NCL again.

Onboard entertainment. Campy - picture Don Knotts doing an impression of Bill Murray's Saturday Night Live skit as the lounge singer at the Airport Sheraton. But for mellow adults the piano player in Pink's champagne lounge was very good. Only 2 people showed up for ballroom dancing. The Second City comedy troop was great, and thankfully rated their later acts as PG-13 to protect kids. The Pub Crawl crowd was fun but too many desperate women, beer belly drunks and obnoxious hosts. One host even led the crowd through a version of the lord's prayer recast as a drinking oath. Kinda funny but questionable taste. The Farewell Show was laughable - really, people were laughing when the crew sang up the PofA as our "home away from home". Magician and comic on board were ok.

So, was it bad? No, but only because our expectations were set ahead of time. Don't expect much and the PofA will deliver just that. Not much. Hawaii takes care of what's really important.

Itineray (Get reservations online for everything you can before you go and make sure you can get back to the ship on time. All the companies know the PofA's schedule so just ask):

Friday. Arrived in Honolulu and had dinner at Dukes at Wakiki. Good prices, great food and beach view. Stayed at Marriott but would choose Westin next time. Saturday. Sea Life Park for pool swim with Dolphins before boarding the ship. SLP is small so don't expect Sea World. The Dolphin swim was great and they pick you up at the hotel and bring you back. Then cab to ship. Sunday (Maui). Whale watching with Maui Adventure Cruises (BEST!) Experts with smaller, faster boats so your time is all spent with the whales. Then walk/shop old Lahaina before best sunset dinner at the Plantation House restaurant (country club - beautiful and they even let us use the club to change when we ran out of time to get back to the ship before dinner. Monday (Maui). Snorkel at Molokini and Turtle Bay on the Pride of Maui. Then beach time before boarding ship. Tuesday (Hilo). Rental car to Akaka Falls, Volcano National Park, Mauna Loa Macadamia Nut Plantation and Candy Factory. Hilo is rainy side of island so no beach time planned. Wednesday (Kona). Beach and shopping time all right next to the dock in old Kona. Relax day. Great lunch at the FishHopper. Thursday (Kauai). Kayak and hike to Secret Falls with Kauai Kayak (Great). Bring own lunches. Then clean up right there at the marina shower house (rustic) in time for the Luau at Smith's Tropical Paradise which is next door. Smith's is MUCH better than PofA's excursion Luau. Friday (Kauai). Drive or helicopter to Waimea Canyon. Beautiful. Lunch at Shrimp Station and shaved ice at Jo-Jo's (both at base of Canyon) before boarding ship to get back to Honolulu to fly out Saturday.

Hope this is helpful. Aloha (couldn't resist).

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Western Caribbean
Publication Date: February 28, 2010

Avoid booking your flight through this cruise line. We were overcharged, treated rudely, and given a ridiculous, non-refundable flight. Who would take a cruise out of Miami with a return flight from Ft. Lauderdale, via Texas to North Carolina? That is what NCL air travel booked for us. We could have driven home faster! What a lousy way to end your cruise experience. We could have gotten a direct flight home for less money if we had booked it ourselves. Beware these package programs and check to see what type of flight and transportation you can get on your own. Chances are you will pay less and get a better itinerary.

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Western Caribbean
Publication Date: February 14, 2010

Anyone who books with NCL has made a mistake. Nothing with this cruise line warrants a repeat trip. The staff were rude and couldn't care less about your vacation, especially in the restaurants. The ship was a like a traveling Wal-Mart where you are constantly hounded to spend money on over proceed jewelry, t- shirts, photos, etc. Deck 7 was so crowded with junk you couldn't get to the restaurants where the food was mediocre at best. The only person that smiled and said thank you was the one insisting you applied hand sanitizer before entering. Many of the excursions are over priced misrepresentations. Travel 2500 miles and spend $1000's of dollars to be told by the tour guide that you are not on vacation, your on his time. Want a chair on the private island. Be prepared to pay $30. This cruise line could apply for a role in the next Pirates of the Caribbean movie.

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Western Caribbean
Publication Date: February 7, 2010

Beware of Norwegian Cruise Line customer relations. I had a bad experience with a shore excursion and NCL customer relations refused to make it right by compensating me for the $60 of service that I did NOT receive from their subcontracted shore excursion company. What's more is that the shore excursion management team and customer relations department handled my polite request to rectify the issue with an absolute lack of professionalism. They care not about the satisfaction of their patrons--only their bottom line. Too bad, this experience ruined an otherwise mediocre cruise experience.

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South America
Publication Date: January 31, 2010

Once through passport control, diesel buses carried passengers to the ship, weaving under cranes and through stacks of cargo containers. Reaching the gangway at last, we entered the ship on Deck 5 and faced a very long line in the Four Seasons dining room, where room cards were being issued. As suite guests, my spouse and I were pulled from this queue and separately checked in by staff in the lobby area of the Il Adagio restaurant. After taking photos, we were led to an adjoining room for a one-on-one talk with ship concierge Karin, who asked if there was anything she could arrange for us as we settled in. The one request I had – to reserve a spot in the thermal suite in the spa – was for naught…despite web postings to the contrary, there is no thermal suite on board. As Karin explained, "This is an older ship, and it does not have the amenities you might expect on newer, larger ships." Indeed.

Ship: The Norwegian Sun, built in 2001, is a smaller vessel that feels somewhat dated and out-of-touch even though it is relatively new (perhaps this explains

a planned dry-dock scheduled for fall 2010.) Public areas are small and a bit on the claustrophobic side, and the awkward deck layout, which is configured around a giant central kitchen area on deck 5, prevents easy walking from venues located at opposite ends of the ship. The atrium features four "Panoramic Elevators" that, after leaving decks 5, 6 and 7, travel the remainder of their journey inside a white tube – hardly "panoramic" at all. There are many rust spots all over the exterior decks of the vessel that are in need of painting, and plastic flowers and Papier Mache rocks abound – no fresh flowers were to be seen. The daily newsletter is laughable – frequent misspellings, incorrect information, and page after page devoted to getting you to spend money on jewels, artwork, massages and excursions. I know these elements are part of the cruise line revenue stream, but honestly, NCL goes above and beyond any acceptable levels of advertising when 6 front-and-back insert pages are spent trying to pry your money from your pocket. Separately, the passenger composition on this South American itinerary was largely comprised of travelers from France, Germany and Latin America, and as a result, I observed willful disregard for the rule against smoking in individual cabins and public areas despite admonishments from the crew. Indeed, when walking down the halls of decks 9 and 10, the cigarette smoke coming from cabins was so thick that it would make me cough out loud. I saw several cases of plumbing problems – for example, on embarkation day inside cabins 0129 and 0329 were flooded so badly with sewage that carpets were pulled up, odorizer was sprinkled on floors and giant fans were in place for at least 2 straight days.

Serious customer service issues exist on this ship. Bartenders and bar staff are competent and friendly (especially Marvin in the Observation Lounge), but much of the food service team seems to be preoccupied with socializing with each other – when interrupted from this pastime they are often surly and occasionally downright rude. When we got up to take a look at a breakfast fruit buffet in the Four Seasons main dining room, one server admonished us to sit down immediately and barked, "Let us do our job and you do yours!" During the mandatory lifeboat muster, our station leader - an onboard entertainer named Alan - practiced his dance steps while the drill took place. At the same time his station partner informed us, "Remember you are at Muster Station R. You know what Station R stands for? R is for rich. Like you." (Presumably because this station is a meeting point for suite guests.)

On a positive note about the crew, Concierge Karin is a very hard worker who aims to please. I've read complaints online that "she is never at her desk," but in reality this is because she is constantly in motion, running all over the ship to take care of guests. She is extremely accommodating and courteous, and the majority of this crew would do well to model their behavior after hers.

Cabin: We were booked in Cabin 0265, a Penthouse Suite located aft on the Norway Deck. This cabin is spacious (the photos of the living room area on the NCL website really do not do the size of it justice) and generally well maintained. The bathroom is large, with a separate glassed-in toilet closet (like many cruise ship WCs, this one has a slight smell of sewage), a double-door-enclosed shower, and a Jacuzzi tub that is large enough for a 6-foot tall adult to lie down in. The bathroom has only one sink, however, so washing up and shaving are a one-person-at-a-time affair. Lighting is good in the bathroom, but one minor annoyance: you cannot turn on just one light, say only over the sink - you must turn on all 12 recessed spotlights or none at all (kind of disruptive if you have to get up in the middle of the night). In addition, it sometimes took as long as 15 minutes to get hot water in the bathroom, so if you are in a hurry, plan on a cold shower.

Closet space in this cabin is not as generous as one would expect, especially for a 2-week itinerary. There are lots of drawers, though, and a separate make-up table area in the pass-through closet space between the bathroom and bedroom. The bedroom is nicely-sized, with a very soft marshmallow mattress and a separate set of glass doors that open onto the best thing about this cabin - the generous wrap-around aft balcony, which features room enough for two chaise lounges as well as a table and three regular-size chairs. Watching the world go by on calm sea days makes the investment in this suite worthwhile.

Negatives about Suite 0265: no coffee maker or kettle (let alone the cappuccino machine advertised in most NCL literature describing Penthouse Suite amenities), no in-room Wi-Fi, no extra blankets or pillows without making a special request, and large tube-style Panasonic televisions that are well past their prime, to the point of being nearly unwatchable. A Sony DVD player with surround-sound is outfitted in the living room, but I can't imagine blasting the speakers while watching a movie from the onboard library. A connecting door to the smaller balcony room next door would make this an ideal suite for sharing with kids or another couple, but in our case our neighbor used it for eavesdropping (as he made clear while we were out on the balcony, when he leaned over the dividing barrier and asked about things that had been discussed in private). Beware: noise (and the odd piece of toast flying off a plate) is also sometimes an issue from the Great Outdoors Café located on the deck above - diners frequently drag their chairs (and tables) as they jockey for position alongside the rails. One saving grace during our cruise was that the cafe space above this cabin is unusable in cold or inclement weather, so the noise factor wasn't as bad as it could have been.

The Penthouse Suite comes with Butler Service - ours was a rather shy man named Orlando. In addition to bringing ice (and unpacking your clothes if you ask), the butler brings complimentary canapés in the late afternoon and also delivers room service orders (room service in this suite is a complicated affair in which you call the room service number, they hang up, locate your butler, and he calls you back to take the order and subsequently deliver it). I had but one request of Orlando - to supply a bottle of whiskey for evening drinks. I told him I understood that I would have to pay extra for the alcohol, but he gave me a funny look and informed me that I would have to pay for each shot in the bottle individually! When I asked how that could be possible, given that guests can purchase a dozen bottles of wine from NCL without a "per-sip" surcharge. He just shrugged his shoulders and later I received an explanation from the Concierge: It is supposedly a (newly-introduced) fleet wide NCL policy that guests cannot purchase a bottle of liquor onboard, even if they are willing to pay an exorbitant amount for it - apparently because some guests cannot be trusted not to drink it all at once (how this gets around being able to drink a whole bottle of wine at once is beyond me). In any event, it is nonsensical that a suite guest cannot request a bar setup with a single bottle of liquor for the duration of a two-week cruise.

Our Cabin Steward Fidel was perhaps the best we have ever had on any cruise – he visited several times a day and our suite was kept immaculate at all times.

Food: Overall, the food served on the NCL Sun is consistently mediocre – poorly prepared, sloppily presented and more often than not, reheated from a frozen state. Interestingly, during a casual conversation with the Food & Beverage manager, he revealed that (despite an itinerary with close proximity to some of the best meat and seafood on the planet) none of the protein served on the Sun is fresh. That's right - all steaks, poultry and seafood items are shipped frozen to the ship from Miami because of potential labor strikes from dockworkers and other food providers in South American ports. It's unsurprising then that the resulting meals are less than spectacular. One thing to remember when dining on this ship – the service staff has been indoctrinated with a set order in which to deliver food, and any deviations or special requests (like a pre-dinner cocktail or an extra piece of bread with your meal) cause confusion and turmoil. Service staff is also not very competent, often mixing up orders and dropping food and utensils - the crashing of plates, silverware and glassware onto the floor is a constant in nearly every dining venue on the Sun. The "Freestyle" concept really is kind of a joke – if you don't plan ahead, you really cannot eat "whenever, wherever" – walk-up to the desk of a specialty restaurant without a reservation and you will get a blank stare and a "No!" Here then, is a rundown of each of the restaurants onboard:

Concierge Lounge: Our first dining experience on the Sun was lunch in the Concierge Lounge, set up in the Il Adagio specialty restaurant. Warning signs that a bad meal was forthcoming appeared right away: our waiter was shuffling his feet and singing to himself, even while taking our order, and the tablecloth was stained with food from a breakfast that had been served earlier that morning. I asked for a Diet Coke and 20 minutes later received a Beck's Beer in a bottle. I asked again for a Diet Coke, and this time received a Pepsi in a can. After my third request for a Diet Coke, our server informed me that they only have Pepsi on NCL (first time anyone ever told me), so I said "Okay, let me have a Diet Pepsi then." 42 minutes and $2.24 later, I received the one and only soda that I had onboard. My lunch consisted of a Caesar Salad that would be best described as a few leaves of Romaine lettuce floating in two cups of salad dressing, followed by cold and inedible hamburger "sliders" and French fries that were still partially frozen. I skipped it.

Breakfast is offered in this venue as an amenity for suite guests, and the service was admittedly better than this first meal, but you have to know how to order. If you want a regular amount of cheese on your omelet, specify "extra cheese," otherwise the omelet arrives dry. If you want your English muffin toasted, you must specifically ask for it to be done.

Teppanyaki: During the check-in process, Concierge Karin encouraged us to make a reservation for the Teppanyaki specialty restaurant, because "once everyone on the ship hears about how good it is, you won't be able to get a reservation." We took her advice and made a booking for our first night on ship. After our party of four was seated at the 12-person grill, we placed an order for cocktails. A couple of the requests (a gin martini, a blended margarita) seemed to vex the waiter - a hunch that was proven true when the drinks did not appear until 52 minutes later. After being served soybeans, soup and a salad, our two teppanyaki chefs appeared - making nervous jokes and fumbling a bit as they started juggling knives and spatulas over the steaming hot grill. I had just remarked to my brother-in-law that "This can only end badly..." when one of the chefs lost his grip on a twirling spatula and it sailed across the grill and hit my spouse square in the chest, covering him in food and sauce. After he excused himself from the table amid gasps from our fellow diners, the chefs proceeded to juggle raw eggs, which they also dropped with splats onto the floor. Everyone at the grill grew visibly agitated at becoming the next victim, and I said, "Maybe we should stop the juggling and proceed with the cooking." No one laughed. Neither did I when my spouse returned and the maître d' failed to compensate him for the $25 meal surcharge - instead she offered a complimentary t-shirt cleaning (even though he was wearing a dress shirt and dress slacks). The evening was ruined, as you can imagine, but admittedly the food was fairly tasty (if diners can manage to avoid wearing it).

Four Seasons: Our group of four encountered mediocre food and very surly service in this main dining room (in fact we had a running debate over whether the service is worse in the Four Seasons or the Seven Seas - food is from the same kitchen, and only the serving staff distinguishes the two main dining room venues). Bland dishes like chicken breast with instant mashed potatoes and frozen vegetables abound. On the accident front, I had a shrimp cocktail spilled all over the table in front of me one evening by a sloppy server.

Il Adagio: Dinner is reasonably good at this venue, which specializes in Italian dishes. Order the simple things, like an artichoke pizza, which is crisp and delicious. Service is sloppy, however: it took more than 15 minutes for a server to appear on one busy evening, and an additional 30 minutes to get glasses of water to the table. The reason, according to our server: "We have to go and find more water."

Le Bistro: Food and service were a bit above average in this venue. The cassoulet was decently prepared, with slightly overcooked but flavorful duck. The chocolate fondue was cold, runny and inedible, and although the menu advertises Crepes Suzette "prepared tableside," they are not, obviously for safety reasons (but then why offer it in writing?). If you order selections from the "International Cheese Trolley" for dessert, you'll receive a few slices of American, Swiss and Bleu served along with a plastic-covered packet of saltine crackers. Beware the extra charges for certain menu items that are in addition to the restaurant's $20 cover charge.

East Meets West Steakhouse: Food quality is slightly above average here, with fairly attentive service (although we were turned away in our first attempt to "dine whenever" at 7:30 pm despite the fact that only two of the more than 35 tables were occupied). Jumbo shrimp cocktails with a spicy sauce are a pleasure, and the wedge salad is a classic that was enjoyable. Not so great: gummy lobster bisque and defrosted steaks that were tough and overcooked despite a request for "medium rare." On another evening, to avoid the frozen steak, I ordered rotisserie chicken, which was dry and tough. Again, beware of the extra charges beyond the $25 cover – it's $10 more if you want that frozen lobster tail with your frozen filet mignon.

Sushi Bar: If you like sushi this is actually one of the better dining venues aboard the Sun. Although the fish isn't fresh, the hand rolls are well prepared and suitably spicy. Service staff are attentive and pleasant, a rarity on this ship.

Pacific Heights: Perhaps the worst of the specialty restaurants. After a conversation with the Food & Beverage Manager, I was under the assumption that this venue had been closed – but what he really meant to tell me was that its partnership with the food magazine ‘Cooking Light" has been terminated. And with good reason: the Tomato Soup is like a can of Campbell's with a spoonful of Cayenne Pepper thrown in, and the Mushroom Quesadilla, seemingly filled with instant guacamole and slimy canned mushrooms, is perhaps the vilest thing I have ever attempted to eat. After ordering drinks, our server told us that the 40-minute delay in their delivery was because "The bartender is in the bathroom." When he finally returned to our table 20 minutes later with appetizers, the waiter looked at us and scornfully said, "You switched places on me!" We had not.

Buffet: Typical mediocre cruise-line buffet fare - nothing is great, nothing is horrid. Some tips: you don't have to form a single queue – go to the station that you want (there will be howls of protest, but the reality is, this was set up for diners to pick-and-choose from salads, entrees and desserts rather than follow one singular line). During peak lunch times, head out to the rear Great Outdoors area, which has a separate buffet queue featuring salads, burgers, and desserts. As part of the buffet breakfast in the Garden Cafe, waffles are cooked to order in the Pacific Heights venue, and there is virtually no waiting – probably because it is not advertised and you have to exit out of the buffet, head towards the Sports Bar and make a right to get there. You can also find freshly baked pizza (that is quite good) at Pacific Heights during the lunchtime buffet service.

Entertainment: Live shows: The "Gaucho de la Plata" performance was awkward and uncomfortable - the male "Gaucho" performer became winded after his first bolo dance, then proceeded to make several homophobic jokes in a row. Separately, the "Jean Ann Ryan Dancers" are actually fairly talented...unfortunately the material they are tasked with performing (especially choreography during the Broadway-themed "Encore!" show) is clunky and uninspired. Their "Cirque du Pan" show, a faux "Cirque du Soliel" retelling of "Peter Pan" is the best performance of the lot – fun costumes, cute sets and some impressive gymnastics and aerial acrobatics.

Bingo: The offering of every big cash prize came with an asterix: "$5000 Jackpot! *If you cover your card in 46 numbers or less." Isn't this a very low statistical possibility? Not even one guaranteed cash Bingo jackpot during a two-week cruise?

Casino: Slot machines are like vacuum cleaners - 20 dollars on a 25-cent machine disappears in a flash. Tables were often empty, with dealers staring blankly and singing to themselves. The casino is closed while in Chilean waters (a significant portion of this itinerary), and it seemed to be primarily used as a indoor smoking lounge during inclement weather - the smoke is extremely heavy, with little or no ventilation.

Shop: Despite a sign that excitedly proclaims "We have everything you need! Toothpaste, Mouthwash, Toothbrushes!" - the first two on that list were not stocked during the entire 14-day cruise. When asked, a shop assistant shrugged and said, "We don't carry toothpaste." Separately, several days before the end of the cruise, the store manager encouraged me to take advantage of the "Buy 2, Get 1 Free" port-themed t-shirt offer, because "They will not be available for remainder of the cruise." The shirts were observed on offer long after - in fact, all the way to the shop closing on the final night.

Spa: I am an avid spa-goer, but having experienced the customer service levels throughout the rest of the ship, I opted not to partake of any spa treatments offered by the Mandara Spa. I do have one anecdote regarding the staff, however. My spouse approached the spa reception desk and inquired about getting a moustache trim in the salon (a service advertised on the salon menu). The receptionist told him "No, we don't do that." He walked away in frustration. A few moments later, I approached the desk and asked if it were possible to get my moustache trimmed. "Sure," the receptionist said, "when would you like to schedule an appointment?"

Enrichment Lectures: Presented by Assistant Cruise Director "Szolt the Bolt," these featured sixth-grade level Power Point presentations on such topics and the indigenous peoples and the geology/geography of South America. He was unprepared to give the scheduled talk on whales and wildlife, so he showed a video about Alaskan whales instead.

Excursions: Here are details on excursions offered by NCL:

The Lagoon Bluff: Based on rave reviews, our party of four reserved this Falkland Island penguin rookery excursion via the NCL website more than six months in advance. Once aboard, we discovered that the Excursion Desk staff had switched two of us to a tour time that departed more than 30 minutes later. When I politely asked for the new time to be switched back so we could travel together, the manager of the Excursion Desk told me, "You can either take the tour separately, or give me the tickets back…we have plenty of people who want to take this tour." I told him that this was unacceptable and to make it right. He eventually did, but every time I saw him in the hallway, he averted his eyes and would not speak to me.

Torres del Paine: A very long day that begins in Punta Arenas and includes a bus ride to the airport, a flight in a rickety Cessna plane (the windshield de-icers did not work and the pilot flew blind for more than 15 minutes of the 40-minute trip), a three-hour bus ride around the national park, a great Chilean lunch overlooking a stunning vista at a lake, and a repeat flight on said rickety Cessna. Embarrassingly expensive at just over $1000 per person – NCL should be ashamed at the premium charged for this tour, which ought to cost $500 tops. All that being said, the beauty of Torres del Paine cannot be overstated. Torres is a must-see destination that would be one of the high points of any visit to Chile.

Lake Esmeralda and Petrohue Falls: A scenic excursion as advertised, but expect to share your catamaran ride on Lake Esmeralda with 400 other guests, and just try to get a solitary moment (let alone walk on the trail) at the falls as 7 to 8 buses release their passengers simultaneously. Lunch, served at an estancia, was very good, and featured as an entree some of the best salmon I have ever tasted.

In Buenos Aires, Peninsula Valdes, Ushuaia and Valparaiso / Santiago we used private tour guides that were friendly, informative and significantly cheaper than NCL excursions. If you are interested in contact information, please send me a private message and I will be happy to share details.

Bottom Line: Our 14-day cruise around South America on the Norwegian Sun was a memorable one – the vibrancy of Buenos Aires and Santiago are thrilling, and the natural beauty of Patagonia is incomparable. Despite obtaining a significantly discounted rate by booking via the NCL website more than a year in advance, the nickel-and-diming that we experienced on the Norwegian Sun made this the most expensive cruise we have ever taken (yes, surpassing even a trip on the luxury line Crystal Cruises). And unfortunately, our memories of the ship are plagued by visions of incompetency and ineptitude that would be laughable if they hadn't cost us a considerable amount of money to experience.

"Do you have any money left? No? Ha ha!" - Cruise Director Pedro Cera, emceeing the final show of our cruise in the Stardust Theater.

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