My cruise aboard the Costa Mediterranea was my eighth, and my
wife's first. We were celebrating our honeymoon and thought a
Western Caribbean cruise would be the perfect way to cap off our
wedding festivities. Maybe, maybe not as it turns out. I am 26
years old, but have been lucky enough to have a cousin in the
cruise business. Because of that, I have had the privilege of
sailing on a variety of cruise lines including Carnival, NCL, and
Royal Caribbean. I am not a demanding person, and being from
Arkansas would say I am very easy-going. I don't expect the world
handed to me on a silver plate, or 5-star dining (some fried
catfish and fries suits me fine! haha). Likewise however, I have
lived in 4 countries, including 3 in Europe, and know what to
expect from Euro cuisine. I know that a good crème bulle
isn't made with instant pudding. I knew to expect an international
atmosphere with lots of folks from across the pond (even looked
forward to it.) I say all this so that my criticism isn't seen as
someone who didn't know what to
expect, or lacked experience in a European environment, or a prima
donna who wants everything yesterday. I'm just a guy from Arkansas
who has been lucky enough to experience a good chunk of the world
at a young age. With all that said, let me get started with my
experience onboard the Costa Mediterranea.
Embarkation We arrived at Port Everglades at 11:30 on Sunday
morning, well aware that we would most likely have to wait 2 hours
to board. As it turns out the ship was late 2 hours and it would
actually be nearly 5 hours later before we would finally get aboard
at 3:45. We were directed to a large room to wait with some 2,000
other passengers. The only service in this room was a tiny snack
bar selling hot dogs for $5.00 and water for $1.50. I found this
outrageous considering we were supposed to be on the ship by 1:30
eating at the free Lido Buffet. The few Costa staffers on hand had
absolutely no information about when the ship would arrive or when
we would finally get onboard. There was no information given about
why the ship was delayed either. I later found out that the ship
had come from the Port of Miami were it was held up because of a
port closure---not the cruise line's fault, but it would have been
nice to have had that information passed along. As it was, tempers
were flaring all around us. Not a great start. Once the ship
arrived, a line began forming at the very small entry gate.
But once boarding began a new line formed perpendicular to the
first, and caused a major traffic jam. The situation was made worse
when they allowed only 50-100 people to pass at a time. Before long
people were being trampled, shoved, and yelled at by fellow
passengers. The Costa staff did nothing to alleve this problem. I
can't imagine why Costa would not have some sort of organization in
the boarding process. By the time we were onboard, our mood was
terrible as was everyone else's. No one ever once apologized for
the mess, or helped us in anyway. By far the worse embarkation
experience I have ever had. I heavily suggest showing up 2-3 hours
after initial boarding if you want to avoid this frustrating
experience. Costa gets an F here for lack of information,
organization, and courtesy.
The Ship There are plenty of exhaustive accounts of the Costa
Mediterranea, so I won't bore you with every detail of the ship. It
is impressively decorated, very clean, and not bad from a layout
perspective. It isn't hard to get around, and after an hour or two
I didn't feel like I would ever get lost. Public areas are pretty
neat affairs, with lots of places to sit and chat or have a drink.
Contrary to previous reviews I have read, I never once saw a smoke
cloud as much of the ship is off limits to smokers, including most
of the lounges. The restaurants are very beautiful and pleasant
places to have a meal. The top deck pool areas are nothing
impressive, but for a ship of this size, are perfectly acceptable.
The staff was very good to keep kids out of the adult pool,
although hardly anyone used it because of how cold it was. The hot
tubs were a bit small, and usually too crowded, but I have seen
this on many ships and so won't complain too much about it.
The theatre was the first place I had a complaint about onboard.
The sight lines are horrible. It's a three deck facility that
probably should have been only two. The seats on deck 4 (the
highest of the 3 decks) had terrible sharp angled sight lines that
were blocked by lighting equipment and poles. On deck 3 you had
poles blocking the view from the majority of the seats, or the
sound booth in the way. Just not a great layout overall.
The restaurant on deck 9 was layed out ok, with the 24-hour
pizzeria in the back and a nightly buffet in the middle. But it was
disappointing to see that the pizzeria's ice machine was broken and
passengers were forced to dig ice out of two Coleman ice chests.
After seeing two guests get ice out with their bare hands, I gave
up and went all the way to the middle buffet station to get ice.
It's more of a haul than you might think; being that this is a long
ship. Service was decent, although being constantly hounded by
bartenders yelling "bar service?" every 2 minutes got old really
quick. We ended up taken a lot of our meals down to the room so we
could eat in peace. Why Costa would allow bartenders to ask me if I
want a drink 5 times in 15 minutes is beyond me. The water slide on
deck 10 is impressive and a lot of fun, if you can ever catch it
open. We spent 3 full days at sea on the ship, and the slide was
open a grand total of 4 hours (2 hour blocks on sea days). We were
finally able to get a ride in on the last day. When I asked the
guard at the bottom why it was never open, he said it was because
of having to staff it with two people. That is a joke in my
opinion.
The basketball court was likewise never open, and the wind at
the front of the ship made using the jogging track problematic at
best. The track wasn't coated well, and I felt like I might get
blown over if I tried to actually get in a few laps. The gym/spa
was actually pretty nice though, with fantastic equipment, and its
own whirlpool. There was even a place to lay out and tan under UV
lights if you wanted. We didn't use the spa services, so I can't
comment on that part of the ship. If you a workout type, you will
be happy with what you find onboard.
Finally, I have to comment about the movement of the ship. I'm
not a ship engineer, mind you, but of all the ships I have been on,
the Mediterranea was the worst about rocking and rolling. Often
times we would find ourselves stumbling about because of the amount
of rolling the ship constantly did. Dinner (served at the stern of
the ship) was several times unpleasant because of it. Frequent
checks outside would result in confusion as the seas looked
relatively calm. I have never gotten seasick on a boat, but the
unbelievable amount of motion landed me my first case of it.
Comparing the Mediterranea to other ships, I think the problem is
that she is too skinny for her length-making her more top heavy
than most, and her azipod propeller system. Essentially the boat is
pulled, not pushed through the water by two forward facing
propellers. I am a licensed pilot and would equate some of the sway
to the feeling one gets by shoving the rudder of a plane back and
forth. I could be totally wrong, but nonetheless be prepared for
feeling every swell along your trip. Bonine is a must.
Overall the ship earns a B-. It's beautifully decorated, and
much nicer inside than any Carnival ship I have been on. But layout
problems keep this ship from really shining. Since the main
activities are all clustered in a relatively few number of areas,
the ship always felt crowded and cramp. I have been on smaller
ships that didn't have this problem. The constant movement of the
ship is also a problem. If we had been sailing through storms, I
would be more understanding. But we sailed through calm seas the
entire week, and yet felt like we had been shaken, stirred, and
dumped out by week's end. Although the boat is pretty, other cruise
lines offer ships with more to do, and a much smoother ride.
Cabin We were upgraded to a category 9 stateroom with an
unobstructed balcony on Deck 6. The room was spacious, clean and
for the most part comfortable. Our deck probably saved the trip, as
we frequently used it to unwind and ‘escape' the frequent
crowding throughout the ship. The TV was old and didn't have much
of a picture. You got ABC, NBC, and CBS. Everything else was in a
foreign language. Now you are probably saying, "Why would that
matter?!" Read on, I'll explain later. The bathroom was pretty
small, but standard. The only problem is that the toilet constantly
had a smell that would often permeate the entire room. I can't
describe the smell that well. Sewage + seawater I guess about does
it. We would leave the balcony door open while we were out and
while we slept—that kept the smells down to a tolerable
level. The beds are uncomfortable as is the case on most ships. Ask
for an extra mattress and you should be fine. Other than that,
there was plenty of space to put stuff, and the lighting was very
good. Our cabin attendant, Michael, was the one service highlight
on the entire trip. He was amazing. All in all, the room rated an A
for being spacious, clean, and for Michael's work in keeping us
comfortable.
Service This is where things get bumpy. I want to start with the
positives, so that you know I'm not out to trash Costa for no
reason than to be negative. Far from it! I had hoped that the
service level at embarkation would be the exception and not the
rule. Unfortunately, such is not the case. First, we booked 3
excursions. One of these was a dolphin swim in Honduras. The order
book does not say that swimming isn't part of the experience. When
we asked at the excursion desk about it, we were told you did in
fact swim with the animals. But during the welcome aboard speech in
the theatre later on, it was explained that our particular
excursion was not in fact a full swim experience. In short, you got
a kiss on the nose for your $112 and nothing more. So of course we
wanted to cancel, since we were not made clear of what was actually
involved. I went to the same person, who told me a completely
different story, and then proceeded to act as though she didn't
remember our first conversation. I was made out to be a liar by
this staff member, and spent about 45 minutes arguing before
finally getting a refund. After the nightmare of getting on the
ship, this experience basically sunk the first day for me. Be very,
very careful before ordering excursions. Ask at least two people if
you have any doubt about what is included in the trip.
Restaurant service was a hit or miss affair. Our first server,
Marie, was unfriendly at best. She treated our requests as burdens,
rather than with any sort of graciousness. And when I say requests,
I'm only talking about trying another entrée or asking for
more water. Very standard stuff! We ended at another table where
our new waiter, Sherwin, took great care of us the remaining 3
nights of the trip. Nevertheless I heard from many folks that they
too had problems with waiter service. Wine attendants were not
knowledgeable (or affluent in English)—I ordered a Rossi and
received a Rose-colored blush for example. The bartenders onboard
were all pretty good, quick with a drink and a smile. The roaming
bar service waiters, on the other hand, were annoying and rude.
While you ate lunch or lay out on deck, it wasn't unusual to have
the same person ask you 5+ times if you wanted a drink. You
basically had to tell them to leave you alone to get them to
stop.
The staff at the concierge desk were much friendlier and
generally more helpful than most. They took care of anything that
came up with a smile, so no complaints there.
The casino staff, however, needs a lot of work. I've never seen
a group of dealers so unwilling to work as I did here. Dealers at
empty tables would flat out refuse to deal, instead sending me to
tables across the room that were basically full. You have to watch
every thing these dealers do, as well. They would frequently make
mistakes, such as pulling money off the table on a push, or not
paying a blackjack at 3 to 2. When you called their mistakes, you
got a scowl and some sort of rude under-breath verbal response. All
of the dealers were Romanian, along with the pit bosses---so
complaining did little good. In the majority of complaints I
witnessed (there were many, including my own)—the pit bosses
would wave off the complaint and even smile at the offending
dealer, as though to say they found the whole affair funny. Service
was terrible in everyway. Dealers would make rude remarks to
players, such as "Make up you mind.", or "Are you stupid?" when a
new player made a strategic mistake (splitting 10's for instance)
for example. I've never seen such behavior so rampant throughout a
casino. After two days, I quit walking in at all. If you are a card
player---do not book this boat!!!
The entertainment crew, which I will cover in detail below, was
friendly though a bit pushy. If you chose not to participate in an
activity, they would often stand in your way, or literally pull you
out of the crowd. I understand trying to get everyone to
participate, but trying to force people to jump in is
ridiculous.
Finally, I can end this part with the one service highlight we
experienced while onboard. Our cabin steward, Michael, was
fantastic in every way. He was very quick to fulfill requests, kept
the room immaculate, was constantly smiling, and makes on heck of a
swan with a towel! Many times, after returning angry from the shady
casino, or another lackluster show, it was Michael's little touches
to the room that instantly made us smile again. Thanks,
Michael.
To sum it up, Costa is light years behind the other cruise lines
when it comes to service. I experienced everything from
incompetence, to downright hostility from members of the
crew—something that should never happen. Another problem
worth mentioning is the language barrier. The English social host
barely spoke the language, and many crew members only had a
rudimentary command at best. I would not be surprised by this
sailing out of Italy but coming from Ft. Lauderdale—I expect
my language to be given the same respect as those of mainland
Europe. This was simply not the case. It is one thing to have an
international flavor to your boat, and another to flat out butcher
the native language of the country from which many of your guests
are from. German guests had a German host, Spanish guests had a
Spanish host, French guests had a French host---only English
speaking guests were stuck with an Italian hostess whose
disinterest in our language shown through every time. Costa rates a
D- here, saved from an F by the efforts of one crewmember. Well
done Michael.
Entertainment As I mentioned above, the entertainment crew
onboard was friendly, but very pushy. I had a chance to talk with a
few of them, and found out that most were on their first cruise
contract. Perhaps with experience, they will learn more effective
ways to get voluntary participation in events rather than forcing
the issue. The activities themselves were ok at best---I had high
hopes for the German Sausage and Beer Festival, only to find it was
little more than a way for the ship to sell high priced German
brews. "Sausages" were little more than cheap hot dogs on a bun. No
Brats, no sauerkraut, no traditional German music, nada. Just an
obnoxious host constantly yelling "Get a beeeeeer! And
sausaaaaage!" It was pretty lame. Other activities followed
suit---and got little participation from anyone. One event that was
a hit, Karaoke was a hit—but was ended just as everyone was
starting to have a good time. I understand keeping a schedule, but
this was the last event planned for the day and it was the first
smash during the entire trip! Let it go for a bit! I think in time
this bunch will get better, but as of right now they are the worst
group I've seen.
Shows were bland, if not flat out bad. The jugglers frequently
dropped their items (maybe because of all that rocking I mentioned
earlier), and the singers seemed tone-deaf. There was a comedian
who was decent, and the dancers were very good. But the production
values were just not there. Maybe I am spoiled by the incredible
shows onboard the RCL and Carnival lines, maybe these guys are just
terrible. I think everyone would have to decide for themselves on
this one.
Lounge musicians ranged from terrific to horrible. At the aft
lounge, a violinist impressed us each night before dinner—as
did a singer who belted out great songs from Dean Martin, Frank
Sinatra, and Jimmy Buffet. But the forward lounge acts were not so
great. Singers used karaoke-like machines for background music and
would often get un-synched with the music. It was sort of funny,
but disappointing when you wanted to get a drink and listen to some
good music.
Dancing onboard was basically limited to the aft lounge, where
the best music was found. The ship has a neat two-level disco, but
most nights it was a complete graveyard. Other nights it was a
place for teens only---we pretty much ignored the place. Overall, I
have to give another low grade here---D. The shows were mostly bad,
the entertainment crew was inexperienced and pushy, and lounge
music was hit or miss. If you are the type who enjoys Vegas-style
shows, or great lounge music—skip this boat. If you like
constant activities that are fun and interesting, you too should
take a pass. That is why we ended up watching television so
much—there was literally nothing else to do. And that is
very, very sad. Make that a D-.
Food Ah, the food. I read the Finelli's account of the
‘fine cuisine' onboard and have come to the conclusion that
they were either on another boat, or crazy. It was uniformly
terrible. Breakfast items included beans, eggs with tomato, eggs
with mushrooms, eggs with ‘herbs', cold waffles, rock hard
French toast, watered down juice, and stale pastries etc. Lunch
consisted of bland sandwiches, undercooked fish, tasteless
hamburgers, pizza without anything on top, pasta that was either
too bland or too cheesy, or obvious leftovers from the previous
night's dinner. Speaking of which...
Dinner was a hit or miss (a reoccurring theme onboard) affair.
At times I really enjoyed the food. Beef dishes were mostly good,
as were the pasta offerings. But fish entrees were terrible each
time I tried them, soups were disgusting affairs (colored water was
the term we came up with), and the desserts were usually left on
the table with only a bite taken out. I understand that the
challenge of feeding 1300 people at a time, but is that any excuse
for bland, uninspired food that isn't fresh? I have been aboard
ships with 1000 more passengers and always found the food
outstanding. Here, they use instant pudding for the crème
bulle and cheap ice cream found in high school cafeterias for the
baked Alaska. It was common to see tables go through 3-4 items
before finding something they could stomach. And lobster was never
served. First time in eight cruises that has happened—instead
they served cheap crab that didn't even compare to the stuff you
get at your local Red Lobster.
Not once in the entire week did we eat something that made us
say "Wow!" Mostly we were just relieved when we found something we
could half way enjoy. Often we just went hungry, or ate some fruit.
Remember—I'm not a picky eater, and yet I lost 4 pounds in
the week I spent aboard the Mediterranea. Incredible.
Don't let the fancy names of the food fool you, it was the
absolute low point of our cruise aboard this ship. Enough folks
have said the same thing (along with sources such as Frommers) to
validate my opinion. If you want to lose weight on your vacation,
then by all means book this ship immediately. Otherwise, take my
grade F, to heart.
Disembarkation Another botched affair, which by this time was no
surprise. We were told to meet at 7:00 a.m. in the Osiris Theatre
for immediate disembarkation (we had opted for the self-assist
method, granted only to U.S. citizens.). By 7:30 a.m. we were still
waiting. No one ever told us what the hold up was, or offered any
information about how much longer we would have to wait. We had
skipped breakfast in the hopes of getting off early and heading
home, but no such luck. At 7:45 a.m. we were finally told we could
leave. Once off the boat, the procedure went smoothly, although
that should be attributed to U.S. Customs officials and not the
cruise line.
Closing Comments By now it is probably apparent that I was not
impressed by the Costa Mediterranea. It wasn't any one thing that
caused me to dislike this boat so much, but rather so many little
things coming together. Bad food, bad service in all but one area,
and lack of things to do pretty much sum up the experience we had
while onboard. Perhaps some of this is attributed to our younger
age—I would say that 80% of the passengers onboard where 50+.
But I have been on ships before that were catered to an older
clientele and still had a great time. Not here. Another problem is
the language barrier. It is one thing to have trouble conversing
with your fellow passengers, and totally another to be unable to
communicate with crew members. But that is exactly what happened
here. Do not believe the published guides that tell you to expect a
predominantly American crowd while sailing in the Caribbean. It
simply isn't the case. Since Costa does all of their advertising in
Europe, it doesn't matter where you get on at, you can expect a
mostly European crowd. In some ways, maybe that is a plus—but
when they are old Europeans with no interest in talking to you,
well it is frustrating to say the least.
Lack of things to do while onboard were made worse by a
cancelled stop at Grand Cayman (I would avoid any cruise with this
port on the list, as crewmembers explained this was the 3rd time in
a month the stop was cancelled). In summary, I've never in eight
cruises sat in my cabin wondering what to do next. I did many times
on this voyage. I've never been hungry on a cruise ship. I was many
times on this ship. I've never been insulted by the behavior of
crewmembers before. I was daily while on this cruise. I've never
had a problem communicating with hotel staff before. I gave up
after a couple of days here. I've never been ready to go home while
on a cruise. I couldn't wait to get off and go home by day 5. I've
never been told that above average = excellent, as I was told by
our somewhat English speaking hostess, Melanie, during the
disembarkation meeting. She actually tried to convince us that we
had a great time, the service was impeccable, and the food
delicious. I'm not kidding, she actually told us all of that. Then
she explained that if we felt we had an above average cruise, we
should mark excellent in each of the boxes on the comment form. I
could not believe what I heard. There are several boxes on this
card – excellent, very good, good, fair, and poor. Logic
would say that above average = good or very good. Apparently not to
this staff, who strive for nothing more than "Okay". It really
summed up our experience.
I hate to be the negative person, and I know the adage that
there is no such thing as a bad cruise. And I wouldn't say this was
a totally bad cruise, but certainly not what I expected by a
Carnival-affiliated line that is considered the leader in the
industry in Europe. So many things disappointed us, that I could
probably write another 7 pages. Costa simply does not compare to
other cruise lines sailing out of the U.S. Perhaps in Europe, where
competition is not nearly as fierce, they match up ok, but not in
the warm waters of the Caribbean. No way. I was attracted to the
line by the prices being nearly half of competitors like RCL, NCL
and Carnival. But the lesson of "you get what you pay for" truly
came through here. If you are on a budget and attracted by the low
price---push your vacation back, save some more money and go on
another line. Trust me on this. My wife is basically turned off to
cruising now because of her experience on this ship. When I was
studying reviews, just as you are now, I figured that the many
negative reviews out there were just people who didn't know how to
have a good time. I was wrong, very wrong. Going on a cruise is a
rare treat for most of us, so please do not make the same mistake
as me and waste the experience on a mediocre ship. You deserve
better.
Overall Grade: D